Trump Should Spend a Lifelong Exile in India
No sooner did I sit down to write about the #HowdyModi event in Houston, where Trump and Modi expressed their flattery for one another last week in an embarrassing display by two wannabe strongmen in a sold-out NRG stadium of 50,000 writhing brown bodies, we were all distracted by the exploding prospects of impeachment.
usindiamonitor had previously witnessed up close Modi’s previous US addresses at Madison Square Garden and the US House of Representatives. In Congress I had enough insider access to even shake Modi’s hand briefly after his address as Speaker Paul Ryan escorted him- something I wouldn’t do again. And in Houston, we witnessed a full-on hand holding beyond the handshake.
This event was different, as Trump showed up to bask in some of Modi’s adulation by an Indian-American crowd that was visibly conflicted on the day. Most Indian-Americans are more Democrat than #MAGAt crowd, but they politely listened and clapped. The main takeaway of the event is that the two leaders would agree to leave each other alone as they continued to conduct vast criminal conspiracies against humanity in their respective countries.
Due to the upcoming impeachment, it is unlikely that Trump will ever appear as president in front of an Indian-American crowd again. So let’s hope it was enjoyed by all. Let’s think of the perfect outcome, which could come next.
The drastic change in events of the last week gave me an idea. Why not let Trump spend the rest of his years in comfortable exile, in India? It’s the perfect retirement plan for him and his grifter family. India is even more corrupt and influence-peddling than he could ever hope to be, there is plenty of money to be made in real estate, and he can surround himself with elephants and psychophants, apologists and lackeys to a level unrivaled anywhere else in the world. India has taken corruption to the level of art form. Trump’s crimes could go on unpunished in luxury, and even applauded and feted. India is still legendarily a feudal society, and Trump would love living there and becoming a modern day nabob of the British Raj.
A land of bribery and extortion is to Trump and his minions, the Land of Milk and Honey. Can you imagine the red carpet that India would roll out for this gangster? He could live atop the Trump Tower in Mumbai instead of New York, looking down in self-satisfaction on the slums of suffering people instead of Central Park and Fifth Avenue. He could shoot someone in the head in Dharawi, and receive a medal for it from Narendra Modi (as long as the poor chap was Muslim). He could swim in a rooftop cesspool full of black money with his daughter Ivanka in a string bikini, laughing as happy as a shark. He could ride around in a motorcade of Marutis, shutting down traffic for long periods of time everywhere he went like all the other baabus trying to flex their small nuts and feel good about themselves.
Trump was born in the wrong era in America to fit in. But today, he would fit in quite snugly in the confines of Indian society. It would be a win-win; America could rid itself of the scourge, and Modi would even pay the cheapskate’s one-way ticket on Air India for him to bolster his own image. These two were meant to be together in an embrace of ass-kissing.
Shared Dreams, Bright Futures, indeed.
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor