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Monthly Archives: June 2018

Robert Mueller is the Anti-Virus Saving America- and Democracy

The sins of 2018 Washington are far more morally bankrupt than we can even know. Today we are witnessing what happens when America abdicates its moral responsibility not only to itself but also to the rest of the world.   America is now run by a narcissistic white supremacist sex-tyrant and his two-bit goons who have turned their back on humanity in favor of self-enrichment and self-aggrandizement.  The mantle of leadership is intentionally being handed off to a Rogue’s Gallery of other tin-pot dictators and hoods more than delighted to jump into the void that such abdication of responsibility has created, to run the agenda for the chaotic new world order.  Cabals of oil-soaked Middle Eastern monarchs, racist Brexit douche bags, the Chinese Premier Xi Jinping who just crowned himself Dictator-4-Life, the democracy-cancelling Vlad the Impaler, and North Korean nut job Dear Leader Kim Jong Un are all gleefully ascendant these days, happily purging rivals and journalists without consequence left and right.  Even India’s Narendra Modi, who somehow came into power without money or family (the only two things that used to matter in Indian politics) to capture the imagination of a nation and the global Indian, has proven his default factory setting is “Ruthless Strongman.”  What a crying shame, all around.

A few of us versed in history already know how this ends.  We are experiencing a glitch in the system, and the anti-virus software is taking care of it as we speak.  I’ve written before that the last gasp of white male supremacy would go down not with a whimper, but with a prolonged fight and heavy costs.  That day is upon us all.  A war hero named Robert Mueller has agreed to enjoin this fight.  The anti-virus is already working his magic.  Mueller has quickly become the most important person in the entire US government apparatus.

Contrast if you will the ethically impeccable actions of this clean-cut boy scout with those of his screwball sewer rat opponents.  Whereas a crotchety, curmudgeonly, sexually deviant, and senile old gang of Trump, Giuliani, Stone, and their minions stumble around spewing incoherent brain farts, undisciplined verbal diarrhea and desperate attacks on law enforcement to the media and social media every hour, their nemesis Mueller has not uttered a single word since he dutifully took on by far the most important and challenging job of not only his, but our lifetimes.

Absence any words, there have been loud actions.  Well-written and bulletproof indictments, subpoenas, and arrests against Russians and the American traitors who conspired with them will continue to roll out under Mueller’s able supervision of the Legal Dream Team specially assembled for the task.  All evidence points straight to the top, and everyone in Washington already knows it even if they pretend not to.  Somewhere in the bowels of a nondescript DC office building, a man is quietly toiling, largely unrecognized, on our behalf.  That man is all that stands between us and dictatorship right now.

The GOP long ago dropped their soiled pants, bent over, and sold out the country when they selfishly nominated a wannabe dictator to lead them into authoritarian and fascist territory for their own short-term survival, long after they knew he cheated.   Meanwhile, the Republican-led Congress is such a heartless, spineless, corrupt and cruel joke in 2018, nobody even pretends that it’s meant to provide a hint of a check or balance on the executive branch anymore.  This Congress is the perfect kind of ruse you would love to abuse if you were a dictator masquerading as a f***ing president.

The Democrats are too weak to mount even a feeble unified resistance effort as they continue to fight their own petty internecine wars and struggle to stand for anything coherent, or coalesce around a leader or a vision.   Among the options for 2020 are tired old choices such as Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders, both of them likable enough yet constant reminders of how long they have been around the forefront of a hapless and stale losing team.

Sure, #BlueWave in 2018, #Resistance, Get Out the Vote, yada, yada! I even wrote about how I will finally call myself a Democrat for the first time in 2018 out of reluctant necessity.  But whatever happens in November, it won’t be good enough to guarantee that the glitch in our system will be wiped so we can finally reboot the laptop once and for all.  A blue wave, if it happens, might not be good enough to get an impeachment-worthy majority in both houses, which even a group of undeveloped fetuses swimming the backstroke in a kiddie pool of amniotic fluid should be able to achieve against an avowed dictator’s political party- the Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight themselves!- in the US of A in 2018.

Instead we are precariously dependent on an older white Republican man, of all people, so the party who screwed this all up so badly for us can take out their own trash.

All that’s left is our deeply flawed judicial system.   Even on its good days, the courts need executive branch prosecutors to bring strong and tight cases forward, because there is zero margin for error on the brink of dictatorship.  Robert Mueller is unusually well suited to the pressure and thanklessness of the role he is playing in US history.  His findings will be strong enough to end the charade of legitimacy and mockery of justice we have been forced into by 2019.   In the opinion of most legal scholars, that work is already done and Mueller is just poking around in search of gravy to strengthen the case further- and those spigots of gravy are spewing all over the map of treason, lies, and cheating as we speak.

The bad guys just don’t get it, and never will.  Mueller by all accounts is that rare prominent civil servant driven not by power, money, favor, fame, or glory.  He didn’t volunteer for the Vietnam War, or the current one, for any of those reasons.  He has no other ambitions beyond this job.  The man can neither be bought off, nor scared away. Those more predictable and base motivations drive his small-minded opponents who cheated their way out of war.  Refreshingly, Mueller does it because it’s right, though that’s not why he is going to win.

Mueller is going to win because some people are simply better than others.  Superior human beings tend to defeat inferior human beings in the long run, even when the losers cheat.

Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor

Photo Credit: theintercept.com

 

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Anthony Bourdain! RIP, Our True US Secretary of State

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“So will Lord Krishna get mad if I start a food fight RIGHT NOW?”-via CNN Parts Unknown

I have a confession to make.

For some years I have harbored a far-fetched yet beautiful fantasy about the celebrity chef and writer, Anthony Bourdain.

It was a simple, innocent fantasy: that he would somehow become the US Secretary of State, and set the the table for all of us global citizens to feast on a buffet of global peace, love, understanding, and unrestrained bacchanalia for the next 1,000 years.  Who better to lead our nation’s diplomacy, at a time when United States foreign policy is utterly crumbling around us and the world order staggers on, rudderless and broken?

Indeed, who better?  Bourdain is thoroughly and uniquely qualified for the job.  He doesn’t simply write essays about geopolitical theory in scholarly journals that only 120 nerds read, like many in the halls of power.  He was born to be the man in the arena- whether a hot and stuffy kitchen, or deep in the Amazonian rainforest.  His work was simple and accessible and could be understood by the common person in any country.  Tony has done far more for the American people through his forays into other countries, through teaching and bridge-building, through charity causes and exploration and adventure, than the corrupt two-bit thugs in our government charged with our diplomacy right now.  Tony was a better human being and a better diplomat than these douche bags will ever be.

And what an interesting guy.  Anthony Bourdain would go anywhere, eat and drink anything, meet anyone, and “risk everything” in his own words to satiate his hunger and thirst for MORE knowledge and human connection through food, history and culture, no matter how unfamiliar, hard, gelatinous, raw, strong, smelly, dangerous, or difficult.  He strove to challenge his beliefs about the world, and ours.  He encouraged us to eat offal.  On the flip side, in Kerala he marveled at how good vegetarian food could be- and that if he lived in India, he could even BE vegetarian, that eater of intestines, tripes, and sweetbreads.  Tony destroyed accepted narratives about nations and people, and eviscerated those celebrity chefs and politicians who promoted vanilla and small-minded fear of the other.   He floated in and out of friendly and hostile countries alike, the common thread being that he ALWAYS made new friends along the way, eating their food or graciously making them his own.

At achieving the goals of unity and love, Tony was the best among all of us.  He bucked the stereotypes.  He was the opposite of the “Ugly American” most of us who have been fortunate to travel the world often encounter,  eating at a T.G.I. Friday’s and drinking a Budweiser during a trip to India of all places (or a F***ING T.G.I. F***ING F***DAY’S as Tony would have said, with extreme prejudice).

Tony’s work was also personal for me.  In 2001, I read his first book Kitchen Confidential, a wonderful spinoff of his seminal 1999 essay about NYC resto secrets in the New Yorker magazine.  During this time, much was going on in my life.  I had just moved to New York City to begin my full-time local government career, and also worked in a West Village restaurant at night, harboring earnest dreams of running my own restaurant one day soon.  I was fresh-faced out of college.  9/11 went down and shook the ground all around me- and became the main topic of conversation at the restaurant bar I tended for the next few months, walking distance from Ground Zero.  I served people who lost their best friends and family members, or cops who were finding flattened and bloody dead bodies in the rubble.  I poured them badly needed drinks.  It was here that I learned what New York was made of and why it would forever endear itself to me.  Tony was the quintessential New Yorker and restauranteur.  And from Tony’s eloquent words I learned everything I would ever need or want to know about the restaurant business, the most important lesson being that I would never own one after all, a decision reinforced through my real-life view of restaurant hardships and challenges.

On the other hand, it wasn’t just back-breaking work and sweat.  I experienced so much of what was positive about restaurants too: busy shifts flying by with a room full of dinner guests enjoying the food, wine, and music.  Wild birthday parties late at night with the rest of the staff after closing down a long and hard shift, new friendships with people from around the world, overhearing weird and inappropriate dinnertime conversations (“the best way to stop the terrorists is to bomb the shit out of Mecca in retaliation for the Twin Towers…”), big tips from flirty gay men, gorgeous girls writing down their phone numbers for me on napkins, taking orders from a number of celebrities, and the team’s constant experimentation with new food and drink recipes.  The chefs constantly attempted to bribe me with my favorite food in exchange for more whiskey than they were supposed to get for their shift drink.   All of the good, the bad, and the ugly about restaurant life was happening right in front of me, and Tony reinforced it all by writing every single thing I experienced, such as the universal “barter system” between chefs and bartenders, better than I ever could.  He nailed the life for millions of us who were in and out of it.

Around that time Tony hung up his chef’s hat, renewed his passport, and became America’s premier jet-setting ambassador for the last 17 years of his life.  Even casual fans knew there was something dark and painful inside Tony.  He went through crippling addictions and bouts of depressions and terror.  Despite the laughs and the joys, the darkness was always there just below the surface if you peered closely at the man’s facial expressions, his weather-beaten features, his self-deprecating jokes about death, his near perpetual state of mental and physical hangover, and even his ambling gait.  Tony had quite obviously been through the wringer and back a few times.  Just like so many other rock stars who shone brightly and flamed out too soon, Tony’s pain and battles with his inner demons, which he openly spoke about to the public, made him the talented firebrand that he was, larger than life but still relatable to anyone from President Obama to a tribal warrior living a lifestyle unchanged since the 17th century.

The best lesson he gave must also go down in history as a foreign policy North Star, if those of us who live on care to listen.  Imagine a world where critical political negotiations only started after a few hours of delicious food and drink, accompanied by talk of more food, friends, families, pets, songs, jokes, and holidays.  Treaties and peace and love would flow down like a waterfall.  The best way to warm up to a people, a tribe, a country, and a culture is through putting stuff, no matter how strange, into our mouths together.  Tony was the perfect vessel for this message, completely giving up his ego and his personal safety to deliver it.  Tony’s gift to us lives on, because he has painstakingly climbed that mountain in the darkest night and pointed out the North Star for all of us to follow.  He is still enough here to be made our Secretary of State after all.

Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor

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