Monthly Archives: September 2019
No sooner did I sit down to write about the #HowdyModi event in Houston, where Trump and Modi expressed their flattery for one another last week in an embarrassing display by two wannabe strongmen in a sold-out NRG stadium of 50,000 writhing brown bodies, we were all distracted by the exploding prospects of impeachment.
usindiamonitor had previously witnessed up close Modi’s previous US addresses at Madison Square Garden and the US House of Representatives. In Congress I had enough insider access to even shake Modi’s hand briefly after his address as Speaker Paul Ryan escorted him- something I wouldn’t do again. And in Houston, we witnessed a full-on hand holding beyond the handshake.
This event was different, as Trump showed up to bask in some of Modi’s adulation by an Indian-American crowd that was visibly conflicted on the day. Most Indian-Americans are more Democrat than #MAGAt crowd, but they politely listened and clapped. The main takeaway of the event is that the two leaders would agree to leave each other alone as they continued to conduct vast criminal conspiracies against humanity in their respective countries.
Due to the upcoming impeachment, it is unlikely that Trump will ever appear as president in front of an Indian-American crowd again. So let’s hope it was enjoyed by all. Let’s think of the perfect outcome, which could come next.
The drastic change in events of the last week gave me an idea. Why not let Trump spend the rest of his years in comfortable exile, in India? It’s the perfect retirement plan for him and his grifter family. India is even more corrupt and influence-peddling than he could ever hope to be, there is plenty of money to be made in real estate, and he can surround himself with elephants and psychophants, apologists and lackeys to a level unrivaled anywhere else in the world. India has taken corruption to the level of art form. Trump’s crimes could go on unpunished in luxury, and even applauded and feted. India is still legendarily a feudal society, and Trump would love living there and becoming a modern day nabob of the British Raj.
A land of bribery and extortion is to Trump and his minions, the Land of Milk and Honey. Can you imagine the red carpet that India would roll out for this gangster? He could live atop the Trump Tower in Mumbai instead of New York, looking down in self-satisfaction on the slums of suffering people instead of Central Park and Fifth Avenue. He could shoot someone in the head in Dharawi, and receive a medal for it from Narendra Modi (as long as the poor chap was Muslim). He could swim in a rooftop cesspool full of black money with his daughter Ivanka in a string bikini, laughing as happy as a shark. He could ride around in a motorcade of Marutis, shutting down traffic for long periods of time everywhere he went like all the other baabus trying to flex their small nuts and feel good about themselves.
Trump was born in the wrong era in America to fit in. But today, he would fit in quite snugly in the confines of Indian society. It would be a win-win; America could rid itself of the scourge, and Modi would even pay the cheapskate’s one-way ticket on Air India for him to bolster his own image. These two were meant to be together in an embrace of ass-kissing.
Shared Dreams, Bright Futures, indeed.
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor. For now. What’s the point.
It all came to me recently like an epiphany of psychopathy. When I see what House Democrats led by Nancy Pelosi, Jerry Nadler, and the Squad are doing, or waste my time on the Democratic presidential primary debates, the crystal ball actually becomes clear for brief glimpses. The Democrats are TRYING to lose. Ah, it all makes sense now!
There can be no other explanation. They just don’t want to win.
They want to look weak.
They have zero charisma.
They have no moral courage- only moral outrage.
They present no vision for the future.
They do not want lead.
They LOVE to follow.
Their vague slogans suck.
They are enslaved by a rabid minority of “woke” social justice warriors on social media who lead them down rabbit holes that don’t matter to most Americans.
They react instead of act.
Don’t take my word for it. Not a one of them seems to be capable of taking on the criminally insane neanderthal whose brain is quickly descending into little more than a slurry of mush, emitting brain farts and verbal diarrhea from his toilet seat Twitter account. This pervert orangutan just might win again despite presenting the easiest possible cakewalk for Democrats to either impeach him or defeat him in 2020’s election.
Democrats are such a pathetic joke. There is not a mountain but a mountain range of evidence of criminal misbehavior to impeach this twat and his lackeys like the hack Barr and the crook Pence 100 times over. Take your pick: lowering America’s shield to let the Russians attack us. Purposely eroding the protection of election infrastructure. Abusing his office as a walking emoluments clause violation. Tax fraud. Insurance fraud. Bribery by foreign governments. Attacking our own FBI, CIA, and press. Embezzling campaign, charity, presidential transition, GOP, and inauguration dollars. Dozens of counts of obstructing justice. Covering up obstruction of justice. Conspiracy with foreign intelligence agencies. Collusion with foreign business partners. Illegal election payments to porn stars and Playboy bunnies. Hacking Facebook accounts, probably yours included. Breaking laws to freely and openly pollute our land, air, sea, lakes, and rivers. Praising the dictators that chop American resident journalists to pieces. Locking children in cages. Giving cruel dictators around the world like Modi, Xi, Kim, Putin, and MBS succor and free reign to butcher people. The economy is obviously tanking, the deficits are exploding, the Russians are hacking, and current policies are leading us straight into the next recession- like every goddam Republican president does without fail over and over again in a predictable horror movie we’ve seen before.
While Trump and McConnell piss on the US Constitution like Russian hookers in a Moscow Ritz-Carlton bed, what are the Democrats, the opposition party and so-called resistance, the only thing standing between us and the death of democracy doing?
Muddling through an impeachment inquiry while they can’t even agree on what to call it. Arguing about who is better on racism and reparations. Debating about an unpopular, half-baked health care plan that has no strategy and isn’t funded. Shouting about whether there should be a Q in LGBTQ. Arguing about which bathrooms people can use and who had a more difficult childhood and what percentage of your DNA is Native American. The Democrats are entirely tone deaf and completely disassociated from what most Americans care about. They want to lose. Let’s just accept it. Political correctness is more important to them. The world makes sense now.
The solution is easy. File the damn Articles of Impeachment already. Repeat after me. Every other word out of the mouths of every Democrat should be impeachment. Every other action by every Democrat should be impeachment. Lead! Take a stand! Have a spine! Whatever the faults of the cheating, corporation-owned Republicans leading America off the cliff fast, to their benefit the other side has no compunctions; they impeached a dude over a dick-sucking in the Oval Office, and then went on to romp to victory in 2000 anyway, because at least they have the balls if not a beating heart.
Even a shred less than my solution is utter failure, which is exactly where this train wreck is headed as these cowards on the left shirk their constitutional duty to the American people. It appears this is exactly what they want anyway, because they are afraid of taking power, responsibility, and accountability.
My new favorite cooking show on YouTube is an unlikely candidate. Being experienced in Indian cooking, I don’t often go online to find out how Indian people like to make things, because I can go to my mother or other personally known experts for subcontinental cuisine data mining. I’d rather learn about say, Chinese or South American recipes. So I was skeptical when YouTube’s AI algorithms suggested something new, which I very nearly skipped over. But Grandpa Kitchen is a program based in India that has stolen my heart, despite the cooking show not even having any sort of kitchen to speak of. And I’m not alone: there are millions of hits per video and a massive global fan base including nearly 6 million subscribers built up in just the last two years. You could call it a sensation, and it’s pretty unique at that.
Grandpa Kitchen features an elderly, weather-beaten gentleman with a gangster silver mustache who dons a lungi and does all of the cooking outdoors on a Telangana farm over open flames in giant pots, pans, or grills. The scenery is gorgeous and peaceful. The quantities of both vegetarian and non-vegetarian food being prepared are gigantic, because “Grandpa” Narayana Reddy and his team feed the food to a large group of needy town orphans at the end of every episode in a touching display of charity that never fails to melt my heart. The grub is also world-class, and besides Indian Grandpa expertly makes Japanese, Italian, American, Chinese, and other types of dishes exceedingly well. I have seen over a dozen episodes at this point, and every single recipe looks perfectly seasoned and on-point despite the massive quantities of seafood, vegetables, meat, fats and spices required each time. The ratio just gets nailed, along with the timing over an open fire. This guy has been living food all his life and it shows.
Perhaps best of all, like all great grandparents, Grandpa has this sense of humor that is at once disarmingly self-deprecating, compassionate, and cocky. Grandpa clearly knows he is now a celebrated star on YouTube, and he knows he is a master chef, but also accepts that his accent, limited use of English words, actions and mannerisms are all comical, so he hams it up. In one of my favorite mannerisms, in every episode you will see him introduce himself to the audience in a heavy Indian accent, “This is YOUR Grandpa!” Yes sir, mine are both long gone sadly, and I am letting you fill right in.
We cannot think of a better charity to get behind right now in India. Support this channel so they keep going! Watch it now for fun! Donate on their Patreon Page! Learn how to make some awesome food in the process!
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor