Can you grin and bear it?
The debate about whether Russia is running the Pervert Orangutan White House Reality Show Zoo along with the entire Gutless Orwellian Party (GOP) from top to tail is entirely moot. It’s over. Done. The takeover is complete. There’s nothing to debate, for anyone with half the IQ of a fancy bear. Which apparently is not too many of us. Our dumb, misinformed, and uneducated asses have been ripe for a rapacious takeover for a while now, and the descent towards authoritarianism shockingly took as long as 242 years before we exchanged the Tory Loyalists of King George III for the Trump #MAGAts of Comrade Putin I. And if we are to be the least bit honest with ourselves, the only real questions ever were whether Russia or China took us over first, and how long that would take- for all that needed doing was easily exploiting above all our glaring inability to protect ourselves in the cyber arena. Because, you know, we isn’t don’t be so good at math and computer stuff, and stuff, or even English, and we sure as hell wouldn’t allow enough Asian immigrants into the country in time to save ourselves. Thanks, decades of retrograde anti-immigrant GOP! Enjoy your gulags of borscht, #MAGAts.
We are at least fortunate that the suspense is finally over. The answers to the takeover race questions are: Winner/2016/Russia. It’s all because to most Americans, science, technology engineering, & math (STEM) are as foreign a concept as shitting into a latrine hole in the ground in the sticks of Djibouti while pirates stand around and watch. We are inured to the realities of the outside world, foolishly thinking that an excessive, clumsy, and creaky 20th century military machine of nukes, ships, tanks, jets, drones, helos, and broken toy soldiers were going to forever protect us when foreign countries’ bad hombres actively lurk in our social media, emails, power grids, military systems, corporate servers, and political party infrastructure in a dystopian tentacle porn equivalent of ass rape. America is super well prepared to fight the next great war using 1973 technology, and decimate all comers! Thanks so much, GOP! Gracias for the trillions of dollars in debt-exploding defense spending, eroding our privacy and freedom, bogging us down in Afghanistan and surrounding countries into year 17 with no mission, no plan, and no end in sight. All the while remaining highly vulnerable to penetration by hostile countries and terrorists while screaming about Muslims. Because, America!
Let’s please accept the truth. It’s not “no collusion” and “no puppet” but “so collusion” and “so puppet.” Putin and his boys have brilliantly outFoxed America at every turn, and a part of me actually admires the masterful nature of the hostile takeover by our Comrades to the East to turn America into a vassal state so quickly, without a single shot fired. In fact, if we accept what has happened, we may even be able to do pretty well for ourselves in the new authoritarian reality show. The playbook that was used needs to be studied carefully, which is what we’re doing here today. And those of us who want to move up in the world, should start learning Russian, PONIMAYU?
All indications point to how refreshingly simple this all ended up being. Hack into the Democratic Party and the emails of the Hillary campaign, which was easy as pie. These center-left, filthy rich establishment clowns who ran a $1B campaign somehow couldn’t figure out how to secure their all-important campaign data or for that matter avoid a shockingly brain-dead email controversy the absence of which, President Hillary would be lecturing us in monotone on our screens right now about wildebeest feedstocks in Madagascar, and Manafort would be walking free, roaming the earth, laundering money and dry cleaning $15,000 ostrich haberdashery, unfettered.
Then again, at least 80 million unwitting American Facebook users such as myself had our data stolen and given to the Trump campaign without having done anything wrong. All the various stolen data-emails, files, voicemails, facebook histories- is worth more than its weight in Bitcoin. Now the Russians and WikiLeaks, along with their rotten #MAGAt friends got campaign strategy, campaign secrets, and dirt on Democratic candidates and staffers across the country. By dialing in from a foreign country at the behest of their government (perhaps even forced to by their government), the hackers involved will never be caught for it. Although if they are considered a risk to talk, they’d probably be killed and join many of their comrades long since buried six feet under Red Square. Oh, and we’ll come back to this later: Exhibit A, Murder. I wonder how many of the Russians that Mueller indicts will end up this way.
Next, hire thousands of trained spies and hackers to open thousands of fake social media accounts and post millions of surprisingly well-timed and targeted posts supporting protests, counter-protests, Trump, Black Lives Matter, Jill Stein, Bernie Sanders, and a cornucopia of fake news spreading like California wildfire in order to weaken Hillary and poison US political discourse targeting specific communities with specific elections across America over many months- a practice that is still shamefully ongoing as America’s government apparatus has pulled Lady Liberty’s panties down so that the desecration may be completed- all of it out in the open. The rest is history. Grab your popcorn. Sit back and let them go at it as the “law and order” and “tough on defense” party is literally in bed with Maria Butina and numerous other Russian spies. Divide and conquer. Make America Your Bitch Again.
Since then what we’ve had is Americans fighting Americans, at times violently. We truly hate each other, and I’m no exception when it comes to being on the giving end, and receiving end (many will respond to this with highly predictable racist guttersnipes). There was PizzaGate, outrageous claims about the Clinton Foundation, ridiculous lies about Hillary’s health, and other amplifications of false narratives that our moronic fellow countrymen fell for hook, line, and sinker. The partnership between GOP leadership and Russian intelligence was sophisticated, cold blooded, effective, and total. Democracy cannot survive after all if one of the two only major political parties falls in line behind a comically obvious foreign dictator. This is exactly what we witnessed in 2016: every major GOP politician knew what was happening, but didn’t resist because they achieved personal profit in various ways. It should come as no surprise that Paul Ryan, Turtle McConnell, Devin Nunes, Dana Rohrbacher, Lindsey Graham, Sean Hannity, Rudy Giuliani, and others are choosing treason over protecting Mueller, and the truth. They know the truth, and it ain’t at all pretty for them.
Find a self-centered, politically incorrect, gauche, small, racist, sexist, narcissistic and obsessive compulsive dime store con-man pervert with zero ethics, no shame, no morals, and an unknowable spiral of deep debts financial and otherwise owed to Mother Russia, with whom the man has had a documented unhealthy 30+ year obsession. The mentally unstable snake oil salesman wouldn’t know morality if it peed on his face. Menacingly dangle kompromat in front of him, from sex tapes and evidence of so collusion, to perhaps a recorded promise of an ugly Trump Tower in Russia, and the man will be at your command like a lapdog orangutan cross-breed willing to fellate thoroughly. Run his campaign with the help of his (somehow!) equally corruptible useful idiot family members, and silver spoon feed them illegally obtained election data and stolen files from the opposition party.
Brilliant. Plus, 2016 was also a perfect storm, with lots of other help from the American side.
In an unforgivable fit of excess integrity, President Obama did the Republicans a solid by not unilaterally and forcefully laying out all of the well-documented mischief that Trump and Russia had done together in plain sight that was lighting up the intelligence agency channels. The last duly elected President we may ever have, had every right and obligation to do so as our Commander-in-Chief. Instead of going on TV and screaming about Russian interference at the top of his lungs, Obama stayed silent as the evidence piled in, in order to be seen by the country as being above the election fray. Trump wasn’t supposed to win anyway, he must have calculated. Obama’s error in judgment has turned out to be dire and an abdication of his solemn duty to the rest of us.
The other side has no such compunctions. They are willing to beg, borrow, steal, hack, and kill to win a damn election, while the Democratic Party’s longtime voice and standard bearer would only tell Putin to “cut it out” at an international summit. Republicans ban entire nations of Muslims from entering the country, defund health care for women, encourage Nazi parades, and cage children like animals in concentration camps, while Democrats just say “cut it out” and kick out spies after it’s already too late.
The results are truly spectacular and even admirable to behold as an international social science experiment that just may erode democracy permanently. In fact the Russians are the only ones who come out looking the least bit impressive in this story.
First they had to steal the election where would-be President Hillary Clinton and other Democratic candidates were robbed of their easily winnable seats using the deadly combination of Russian collusion, WikiLeaks, Jim Comey, NRA funds funneled from abroad, Koch Bros cash and other dark money, the electoral college, gerrymandering, racist voter restriction policies, and eminently hackable election system penetration. It’s entirely unfair to have these unelected criminals foisted upon us, but here we are, and it has wounded the faith in our nation that many used to have. Cast doubt on the integrity of the electoral process– and by extension, democracy itself, so that people don’t participate in the process, which is the only way the Gutless Orwellian Party can survive. Install various Russian oligarch-wannabe Perestroika penis puppets into the halls of power, like the Trump family, Rex Tillerson, Michael Flynn, Devin Nunes, Jared Kushner, and dozens of other known and unknown traitors.
This is how we got to who we are, what we are, and where we are. A nation of loudmouth liberals on one side who are more interested in “sick burns” against #MAGAts on Twitter, and explaining to other liberals how they will never understand what it’s like to be a woman or a minority, placing premium importance on feeling good and being right than winning; and supposedly religious, racist, nativist morons on the right voting exactly opposite to their interests in an uneasy alliance with morally bankrupt billionaires and corporations, all of whom are actually more comfortable allying with invading Russian thugs than they are with fellow Americans finding out the real truth.
The strategy has worked in spades, no matter what happens from now on. Putin and his cronies have extended their dictatorial reign for at least a few more years, although the collapse will come around eventually and we are just delaying the inevitable. In the best case scenario, it will take decades to heal the rifts within America, to the point where Americans would rather unite against our common enemies rather than fight each other viciously. “Truth isn’t truth,” says the president’s lawyer and confidant, and 40% of Americans seem to be OK with that. Here’s a scary thought: there will perhaps never again be a common set of facts we can all agree on; and #FauxNews watchers will refuse to accept that the live footage of Donald Trump and his family being dragged to jail is even real, they will simply call it fake news like every other truth they dislike as they are unable to wrap their tiny brains around their white male supremacy fantasies being cruelly dragged along and dashed into the ground in an XXL orange jumpsuit.
All of this, just so that Russia could get hundreds of billions of dollars of oil and gas pumped out of the ocean with deleted sanctions from their pervert orangutan in the White House. I hope it was all worth it, America. Perhaps we just got exactly what we deserve.
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor
Mahanth is Editor of usindiamonitor
One of the most fascinating and strikingly bizarre aspects of the Pervert Orangutan Presidency (POP) and its Fourth Reich happens not in America, which is the least great we’ve ever been, but in rural India where poor, uneducated Hindu nationalists have latched onto this Pervert Orangutan as if he is some kind of god. As a Hindu, I’ll be the first to admit that we’ve got some issues. If you need proof, just watch this brief video by Ruptly…
I don’t blame these people, who clearly have very little in their lives; I blame the United States for creating a long con where the poorest in both America and India are the most cruelly victimized. The rest of us can only look on with horror and disgust until the nightmare mercifully ends.
The irony? These poor brown folk and Hinduism surely disgust Pervert Orangutan far more than they could ever bother you or I.
Donald Trump’s first tweet of 2018 made a huge splash around the world. It was that rare sort of Trump foreign policy statement that didn’t deny collusion with Russia, or taunt North Korea’s Kim Jong Un. It was about withdrawing US aid to Pakistan.
The United States has foolishly given Pakistan more than 33 billion dollars in aid over the last 15 years, and they have given us nothing but lies & deceit, thinking of our leaders as fools. They give safe haven to the terrorists we hunt in Afghanistan, with little help. No more!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 1, 2018
My first instinct was to agree with the premise. I was shocked by positive truths while visiting Pakistan, but I have long thought that the United States should predicate the billions in military and civil aid to Pakistan on effectiveness and measurable progress towards eliminating terrorism and increasing economic development, respectively. It would be fair to take some of that aid away at this point. Pakistan’s government has proven over and over again that a large chunk of US aid will go to build up its armed forces against India and twist the spigot of American blood in Afghanistan to and fro. This dirty double game has been going on ever since 9/11.
Ending the double game is a noble goal. But it’s not so simple. The Trump administration is ramping up the US military presence in Afghanistan by thousands of troops, even as yet another American soldier was killed and four others critically injured there on the day of Trump’s above tweet. The longest war in American history continues even further into Year 17. We are in endless territory when it comes to US blood and treasure and the suffering of the Afghan people. We hardly know or understand who we are fighting and why. The media hardly bothers to cover that war anymore even when Americans die. It’s the textbook definition of mission creep.
Pakistan has been a beneficiary of this war’s largesse from the start, from Bush through Obama to Trump, partly because the US military supply lines run heavily through Pakistan’s ports, airspace, and roads. America pays dearly for the right to use Pakistan’s resources. Cutting off US funds to Pakistan could also result in an explosion of fire and fury as terrorists are unleashed from Pakistani territory and other parts of the world in retaliation by dark networks we aren’t very good at tracking.
Like most half-cocked Trump policy prescriptions, the foreign policy establishment in the United States has no plan prepared to follow through on the threat. The Tweet was poorly timed. How can you cut off aid to Pakistan when you need them for your war? Without winding down the war in Afghanistan, or being able to control Pakistani terrorists or nukes minus the local government’s help, Pakistan still has America by the balls. Even drone strikes in Pakistan require local human intelligence. These things cannot be separated. India’s rejoicing may be premature, and I’m not the only one saying so.
We shall watch now how it all unfolds.
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor
Time will eventually tell us whether Trump goes down as the worst president in US history. At least some competition for that particularly ignoble prize exists, as several other losers from the 1700s, 1800s and 1900s come to mind who could give the current occupier of the White House a run for his money.
But we need not wait for the judgement of historians sitting in their ivory towers to reach a very different conclusion right now: six months in, Donald’s Brood is already irreparably and inarguably the worst first family ever seen in US history. Their vileness is impressive in its united and ugly uniformity (for fairness, young Barron, ex-wives, and grandkids must be exempt from this rubric, and they will be mentioned no further). No matter. There is simply no competition, no close second, when discussing the nuclear version of the Trumps vs. any other first family that came before them.
Unfortunately for us all, sometimes the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In the case of Trump’s adult children, they are rotten to the very core. Each one is a parasite on America, competing with one another for daddy’s attention, and to see who can most convincingly suck the most blood out of the country and the world, licking it off the silver spoon they were born with. Indecent, entitled, and simply bad human beings, Trump’s perverse legacy will sadly outlast him.
Don, Jr. welcomed Russian help in winning the election with open arms just as his dad was inviting Russia to hack Hillary. Completely lacking a moral center, his only lament from the affair, which blew up this week, is that the Russians brought no dirt on Hillary to the fateful meeting after all following promises of the same. Like Donald, this man is uglier than he thinks he is, a compulsive liar, a spoiled brat, a tool, and a fool. Perfect material for the president’s namesake.
Ivanka plays this dirty game of pretending to care enough about climate change or women’s issues to take away five minutes from her main life’s work, selling third-rate sweatshop slave made apparel at astronomical prices, to talk about these political issues in Vogue magazine. Only for us to find she has no effect on policy whatsoever as her dad proceeds rapaciously to quicken environmental destruction and dismantle women’s health programs. Ivanka is a poorly made up cover front, smiling and dolling up for the magazines and fooling nobody on the right side of things.
None of this is Ivanka’s worst. She brought in yet another prince of darkness, as if there weren’t enough of those little Fauntleroys sitting around already, in the creepy form of her half-baked husband, Jared Kushner. Shockingly, he might be more incompetent and entitled than his siblings-in-law. He repeatedly lies about everything he does, including on national security paperwork. Barely qualified to run a corner ice cream store, the failed real estate magnate-scion wannabe has been given widespread responsibilities encompassing many aspects of domestic and foreign policy, for which he shows zero aptitude or original thought beyond family loyalty. It is a brazen nepotism play that is highly unethical, if barely legal.
Then we have Eric Trump, the wannabe tough guy big game hunter, who uses charity fundraising as a way to make more money for the Trump organization. This is a perfect metaphor for all the Trumps and how they use the organization for self-enrichment and self-aggrandizement. There was one area where the family lacked any clout, the political, and they descended on the carcass of the Republican party like a pack of hyenas. The rest is history.
There is one small bright spot in the family. Tiffany isn’t half-bad for an Instagram model whose main job seems to be taking photos in Europe with other trust fund babies. If only the others stayed out of the way like she did!
Finally we have Melania, who represents a treason within a treason. Not only did she enable, protect, and defend her husband as he ushered dark foreign forces in to help win the 2016 US election, despite her own birth in and escape from the wrong side of the Iron Curtain; she betrayed all wives, daughters, mothers, and girls in general by consistently excusing her husband’s unrestrained sexism, misogyny, and abuse of women that became a shocking and unprecedented hallmark of the 2016 presidential campaign season. She openly plagiarized Michelle Obama’s speech and blamed it on an unheard-of staffer. Then she tried her own hand at dirty politics by pretending to want to address “cyber bullying” even as her husband ripped women to shreds on twitter.
It will be such fun to see these people take themselves down.
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor
It seems that Indian comedians are ascendant these days.
We saw that the first SNL monologue in the Trump Era was performed by Aziz Ansari, who hit a deep home run during a time of great anxiety for many around the world. His fellow Muslim Indian-American comedian, Hasan Minhaj, was on the mic at the 2017 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, which did not include President Trump, who is a poor sport utterly lacking a sense of humor. Trump has no self-awareness and doesn’t want to admit it, but his bumbling around the corners of our federal government is pretty easy to make fun of.
For those of us who didn’t know much about the young and talented Minhaj, this is a good introduction. Minhaj carries the event well, despite some awkward half-hearted applauses. The writing and delivery are spot on in a pressure packed environment featuring top journalists, politicians, and celebrities. In this era of American darkness, we need more brown men to step up and poke fun at our leader- and our crumbling media landscape. They are two cracking pillars of an American society in rapid decline, right before our very eyes.