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Time to get Cozy, Bear Life as a Russian Vassal State

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Can you grin and bear it?

The debate about whether Russia is running the Pervert Orangutan White House Reality Show Zoo along with the entire Gutless Orwellian Party (GOP) from top to tail is entirely moot.  It’s over.  Done.  The takeover is complete.  There’s nothing to debate, for anyone with half the IQ of a fancy bear.  Which apparently is not too many of us.  Our dumb, misinformed, and uneducated asses have been ripe for a rapacious takeover for a while now, and the descent towards authoritarianism shockingly took as long as 242 years before we exchanged the Tory Loyalists of King George III for the Trump #MAGAts of Comrade Putin I.  And if we are to be the least bit honest with ourselves, the only real questions ever were whether Russia or China took us over first, and how long that would take- for all that needed doing was easily exploiting above all our glaring inability to protect ourselves in the cyber arena.  Because, you know, we isn’t don’t be so good at math and computer stuff, and stuff, or even English, and we sure as hell wouldn’t allow enough Asian immigrants into the country in time to save ourselves.  Thanks, decades of retrograde anti-immigrant GOP!  Enjoy your gulags of borscht, #MAGAts.

We are at least fortunate that the suspense is finally over.  The answers to the takeover race questions are: Winner/2016/Russia.  It’s all because to most Americans, science, technology engineering, & math (STEM) are as foreign a concept as shitting into a latrine hole in the ground in the sticks of Djibouti while pirates stand around and watch.  We are inured to the realities of the outside world, foolishly thinking that an excessive, clumsy, and creaky 20th century military machine of nukes, ships, tanks, jets, drones, helos, and broken toy soldiers were going to forever protect us when foreign countries’ bad hombres actively lurk in our social media, emails, power grids, military systems, corporate servers, and political party infrastructure in a dystopian tentacle porn equivalent of ass rape.  America is super well prepared to fight the next great war using 1973 technology, and decimate all comers!  Thanks so much, GOP!  Gracias for the trillions of dollars in debt-exploding defense spending, eroding our privacy and freedom, bogging us down in Afghanistan and surrounding countries into year 17 with no mission, no plan, and no end in sight.  All the while remaining highly vulnerable to penetration by hostile countries and terrorists while screaming about Muslims.  Because, America!

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