The New Tan Commandments of Pervert Orangutan
It’s about time that we updated this hallowed document that has formed the basis for laws, constitutions, and general morality for centuries. Clearly the original one is pointedly outdated. Drafted here are the new (Spray) Tan Commandments in modern America thanks to Pervert Orangutan. Now THIS is the roadmap for how you MAGA.
- Cheat on AND rape your first wife.
- Cheat on your second wife who you met while cheating on your first wife.
- Cheat on your third wife, especially during the childbirth of your son, with a porn star and Playboy bunny, then cover up and lie about the affairs with your mushroom shaped penis.
- Cheat on your taxes, take $415 million from Daddy, and tell your fans that he only gave you $1 million to explain how you lost it all.
- Create a charity and campaign for president just to embezzle even more money.
- Start a fake university and rob millions of dollars from poor people.
- Wherever possible, Grab Them by the Pu$$y.
- Rip off your contractors, hire illegal aliens, and have Daddy buy casino chips to keep your sinking casino afloat.
- Foment racism and white supremacy by claiming America’s first black president and last real president wasn’t born in America.
- Conspire with and aspire to join the league of dick taters.