Thank You, #FatNixon
Mahanth S. Joishy is Editor of usindiamonitor
Decency and integrity are two items which appear to be in short supply in modern America. There is no other way to comprehend how we have a GOP controlled Senate and a Fat Nixon in the White House, one who is far worse than the original Nixon who resigned from office in disgrace in 1974. Fortunately, I believe 2019 will be the year this charade of a shambolic government ends.
The rest of us who possess any modicum of decency and integrity have shown a great deal of disgust and dismay at our current predicament of having a president who is a crook entirely unfit for office. The man has damaged government institutions, raped the environment, grabbed the pussies, enriched himself off the office, emboldened violent lunatics and pea-brained racists, obstructed justice at every turn, damaged America’s standing in the world, ruined the institution of the presidency, and perhaps worst of all, cheated with our enemies to steal the 2016 election.
But mark my words: in a short span of time we will all be thanking our very stars for bringing us Fat Nixon. Bear with me here. Yes, America, we are facing an unprecedented stress test with democracy itself at stake here and around the world. But soon America will show the world, and Fat Nixon’s master Putin the stuff we are made of. There are positive consequences we aren’t thinking about enough yet. Here is why we should be grateful this mess happened:
This is What the Last Gasp of American White Male Supremacy Looks Like. I wrote about this in great detail before Pervert Orangutan won, but here is the gist of it: 2016 brought all of the racist termites in the log of America out into the light, so that we can see what we are dealing with, deal with it, and admit to ourselves how racist America really is- and has been throughout. This is the first step toward progress. Many, myself included, were fooling ourselves by thinking maybe, just maybe, the Obama presidency would usher in a post-racial world. We were optimistically idiotic.
Fortunately for us, we are at the apex of racist thought. Fat Nixon’s downfall will be devastating for the bad guys. As I wrote in 2016, “The white supremacist is today, instead of working to advance himself, educate himself, and acquire the requisite skills that will make him more competitive in the new global environment full of opportunity, watching Fox News and waiting for Donald Trump’s teeny little magic wand to make everything better for him. If Trump loses in November, at least the fantasy of these simple, uninformed people will come to an end for good, and the tandem of Trump and Clinton will have done us all a favor. If Trump wins, the fairy tale reverie will simply continue until the unfulfillable hopes of the white supremacist are much more cruelly dragged along and dashed into the ground. The reckoning comes either way.”
Women Rising: The Fat Nixon administration has turbocharged women to get involved in politics and gain political power. Just look at how women, many without rich donors, powerful families, or political experience wiped so many good old GOP boys off the map in November 2018. The 2018 class looks like Rush Limbo’s worst nightmare! Women of color. Women of different religions. Native women. Lesbian and transgender women. The current Congress represents America at a much more granular level than the presidential races, which for centuries depended on an outdated, nonsensical, and corrupt electoral college system and antiquated ideas such as superdelegates. There are more women in Congress than ever before. This is awesome news.
Many conservative Neanderthals lament the ascension of women toward power careers and political muscle. What is wrong with you people? Let’s do a quick survey of why women MUST be in the halls of American power:
- Women rape, molest, or sexually harass people less than men, including at the workplace
- Women get into bar fights less than men
- Women shoot and stab people less than men
- Women start less wars than men
- Women are less likely to be terrorists or Neo-Nazis than men
- Women are less likely to be addicted to alcohol or drugs than men
- Women are less likely to drink and drive than men
- Women are more likely to find solutions using empathy than men
- Women GIVE BIRTH, among the most difficult challenges faced by our species.
This isn’t just about the apex of power, such as in Congress. It’s about the soccer moms and grandmas and middle school girls who are knocking on doors to support political campaigns, and the Women’s Marches, and the housewives running for school board or County Treasurer for the first time. It’s about black women becoming judges in droves in Kentucky and Texas for the first time- shaping jurisprudence in those areas for decades to come.
The jewel in the good guys’ crown (and thorn in Fat Nixon’s side) is Nancy Pelosi, who I believe will become president by default in 2019 after Fat Nixon and his lunatic bible humping lapdog Pence are taken down. Sorry Hillary, Kamala, Tulsi and Elizabeth: Nancy will beat you all there without even running for it.
Minority Report. I mentioned a whole lot of diversity when it comes to women. But there’s diversity of all types on the up and up thanks to Fat Nixon. Comedians like Hasan Minhaj and Aziz Ansari, who are Indian Muslims, are thriving in the age of Pervert Orangutan, partly by beating the crap out of him with humor and raising awareness of their backgrounds as a mechanism to enlighten and entertain. Pro athletes such as LeBron James are way beyond woke right now, and using their influence to do good while epically taking down the president. They aren’t shying away from political conversations. We are seeing the Deep South, of all places, cultivate powerhouse black politicians like Andrew Gillum and Stacey Abrams in towns where Scarlett O’Hara’s ghost still roams from ball to ball with her house slaves in tow. And someone like Kamala Harris, a most unlikely presidential hopeful, now seems like a top tier candidate as an antidote specifically to the historic trash heap of Fat Nixon.
The High School Revolution. High school kids are more woke than at any time in the last four decades. Some of them are putting down their Pokemon Go long enough to march in the thousands hand in hand with the Parkland students, who are my heroes. Young people are engaged and energized, and there is no question that they are animated by the corruption they see projected by Fat Nixon and his goons.
Of course, this cuts both ways. Dipshits like the smirking Nathan Phillips and his classless Covington High Kavanaughs seem to be feeling frisky these days with their boy in the White House too. But that’s better than the apathy that has defined generations of high school kids when it came to politics. Whether it’s for love or hate, the 16 year olds seem to have a fire lit under them.
Cities and States Step to the Plate. I say this more as a citizen than as a City government official: the resistance has resulted in awesome leadership by mayors and governors, and the cities and states they represent. Look at how New York state shut down the corrupt Trump Foundation and is giving the Trump spawn’s finances a long-overdue colonoscopy. California state has created a blueprint for our environmental future, and will be Ground Zero for the new “Green New Deal” which is coming. Over 400 mayors have signed on to a pledge to battle climate change together with electric vehicles. When the federal government is deadlocked and led by an autocrat, the other wheels of democracy can still turn.
The Only Wall Going Up will be Around the Presidency. Both Democrats and Republicans are guilty of letting president run amok, and some serious guardrails are called for. Presidential power has been swelling beyond the levels anticipated by the founders of the United States of America. Nobody thinks of the judicial and legislative branches as co-equal anymore. That’s because their power has been steadily eroded over time in relation to the executive branch. The White House has too much power to commit acts of war, acts of treason, or unilaterally dismantle the will of Congress and the people on specific policies.
Here are just a few recent examples of executive over-reach:
- Fat Nixon has refused to administer sanctions against Russia for months after Congress had voted to implement them- simply to protect himself. This should be part of the articles of impeachment in itself.
- The threat to declare a national emergency to fund a border wall, which has nothing to do with any sort of emergency, while deploying 10,000 troops there over the holidays, using specious arguments
- Brett Kavanaugh corruptly embedding himself in the White House for days of confirmation fight drama as a judicial nominee, as if he was an executive branch employee
- Three consecutive administrations (W. Bush, Obama, and Fat Nixon) have decided that extra-judicial assassinations, often resulting in civilian collateral damage, can take place by remotely piloted drones anywhere in the world the president pleases.
- Fat Nixon on one hand decides to bomb Syria, and on the other hand decides to withdraw from Syria, without any Congressional debate or a national conversation. The American people should NEVER allow these decisions to be made unilaterally.
Too many of the guard rails around the presidency are currently “norms” rather than “laws.” That needs to change. The good news is, change is coming in this area, and it will protect both conservatives and liberals from being subject to a wannabe dictator again- so that Fat Nixon will be the last of his kind.
Presidential candidates must release their tax returns or drop off the ballot, by law. The emoluments clauses around the presidency must be beefed up so that a president’s business interests around the world may no longer subjugate America’s national security for Rubles or Riyals. Nepotism laws should be strengthened so that a president’s daughter and son-in-law can never again receive a security clearance so obviously at the nation’s peril. Cabinet Secretaries should be immediately terminated for $50,000 desks or use of a government plane for vacation. Executive orders and other forms of unilateral action that can harm the country must be shut down once and for all. It’s not about benefitting Democrats or Republicans, but strengthening our democracy.
Rejoice, Americans. We have witnessed a dark period indeed in US history, and at times I lament my fate in having to see kids in cages, separated from their parents in response to racist fears and cruel hearts, all paid for with my hard earned tax deductions. The dark period will soon come to an end, and from what we can see so far, what comes next shall be glorious.